Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Dicks are not precious.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
