im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My boob is missing a layer of skin
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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