Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
