So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
