I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
