you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
