i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
