i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
