So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
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