haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
