Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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