Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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