I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
