The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
