I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
