Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
