i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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