maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
