I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i out mim tonsoeep
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
