The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
