Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
