I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
