dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
