He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We left the knife in your bed.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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