the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
