i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
