dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
