WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
