oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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