You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I love having hate sex.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
