Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You left your underwear on the fireplace
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
