The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
