Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
