I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
