you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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