i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
