4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
She's JV to your varsity
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
