I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
