Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
