Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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