call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
