We're facebook friends in real life
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
