I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
where are you?
Hypothermia
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize