she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
