Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
