ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
