i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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