Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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