I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
