So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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