I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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