There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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