dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I need to calm my uterus...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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