In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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